Winter 2012 Season Premiere: Heart Attack in Accounting Class

Many of my readers known since Dick has left college he has taken on the toughest classes. There is no class too hard for Dick. From Intermediate Macroeconomics w/ Calculus, to Advanced GIS Analysis to Data Structures. (a programming class where he took the two prequisites three and ten years ago) I am reminded of this video featuring Robert Irvine in Dinner Impossible.

Last Friday was the first day of classes at the local university. I don’t even know why I am in these classes. When I was finishing college I wanted to be an investment banker. I saw my classmates getting jobs at the Federal Reserve and top investment banks. People could say that is because they majored in quantitative subjects like Mathematics and Economics but one girl worked in finance and majored in environmental science. So I began taking economics classes at another college and then accounting but that did not get me any closer. In any case now I am just a few courses shy of becoming a CPA.

This professor has the thickest Chinese accent. When it came time to speak about her syllabus all professors now have to mention the disclaimer about disabilities. If you have a learning disability or special accomodation please speak to her and provide her with documentation blah blah blah. 

She mentioned last semester, she had a student who had a heart attack during one of her examinations. They had to call the EMT and the professor later found out that the student had a history of anxiety. If the student submitted documentation of her condition the professor would have no problem with giving her extended time on the exam.  She then briefly said that as a student she wish she had extra time on the examinations and certainly she would of done better.

I asked her what are the format of her exams and she said she gives her MBA students 150 multiple choice questions. But since this is a senior level undergraduate class and the class session is only 75 minutes she probably would only give 100 questions. (that works out to about 40 seconds a question is this woman crazy)

It is no wonder students have heart attacks. At the end of class she also made every student tell us their name and where they were from. Every time a student was from a different country she made a comment. Here are some examples:

She did not know where the country of Belaruse was.

She thought the French Guiana was a country on the continent of Africa.

When someone said they were Mexican she asked if that was the same country as Jennifer Lopez.

When someone said they spoke Cantonese she asked them to wish the class a Happy new Year in Chinese.

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1 Comment

Filed under Dick Don't Need No Education, Gainfully Unemployed

One response to “Winter 2012 Season Premiere: Heart Attack in Accounting Class

  1. Grover Mannings

    Dick good luck starting your next round of classes. I’m worried when you state “I don’t even know why I am in these classes”. I hope you have a goal in mind, ie. become a CPA or interview for banking jobs.

    Without any direction, you’re wasting time and money, two of the most valuable resources we have. In particular, time is very precious. You can never get it back, you can only move forward. It has constant demand and constant supply, but no refunds or do-overs. 🙂

    Your professor sounds like she’s never left the confines of her accounting text book, let alone learned anything about geography. This leads me to believe she’s an expert at accounting but pretty useless at everything else in life, including human relations, general knowledge, and basic American culture. J-Lo is still “Jenny from the block”, NOT Mexico.

    Keep these thoughts in mind as you progress through her course. There’s something to be said for people that are worldly, street smart, and possessing of social graces. Looks aside, would you ask this woman out on a date? Would she be any fun or just recite accounting equations the whole evening?

    Just food for thought.

    Keep all your options open and try chatting with your classmates: one or two of them might already be looking at landing jobs they learned about through networking, another crucial life skill, especially when starting out in the working world. This is why Yalies and Harvard grads seem to always land great jobs. Yes, a diploma from one of these institutions is worth its weight in gold, but even more valuable are the connections you make meeting different people around campus and through university alumni hiring programs.

    You can bet your bottom dollar there are kids at public universities with comparable intelligence and test scores as those at Harvard, but who don’t know Uncle Bradford, VP of Finance at Morgan-Stanley or 2003 graduate Harold Peabody, partner at a prestigious law firm. 🙂

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