A Fundraiser for Nepali Schools

Since I started working in finance my friends always think I make tons of money. First of all let us clarify some things. I work for a company that produces software for high frequency trading. None of us are traders who make mid-six figure to sometimes seven figure salaries you hear about. However most if not all my colleagues make close to and more than six figures with the exception of myself. When I took this job I basically was offered the minimal salary which is slightly above the rate at which they can still pay me but make me exempt from overtime pay.  (My friends said basically this is a win-win situation for the company, if you fail then can just fire you and they have not lost much money, if you succeed then they get cheap labor at not a lot of money)

At tonight’s fundraiser, Gaylord Kubesh brings a white girl as a date to the fundraiser and Felton brings his girlfriend. My friend who is raising money to rebuild Nepali schools said that he expected me to pay at least the $35 suggested donation per person. Since I do work in finance and it would seem borderline cheap if I paid anything less than $35. I decided I would hand a check on the magnitude of several hundred dollars. This is the part where I complain and gripe about this fundraiser (as many of my friends who also went to this complained the next day)

1. the flattened rice was the driest and tasted like eating plastic flakes, and the pickled radish was overwhelmingly spicy and I think I have a reasonable tolerance for spicy food. If something is making me sweat bullets you can imagine what others felt (most people just threw it out without touching it). They should make it of reasonable spiceness to accomodate the majority and then have hot sauce on the side for people to adjust their spice. But I felt I was eating a habenero pepper.

2. I hate styrofoam plates and plastic cups, knives and forks. Since I am contributing money to a cause they should accomodate me. The next time before I come to a fundraiser I am going to inquire first about the environmental friendliness of the event.

3. Our host had advertised this as an open bar. Please correct me but I usually interpret open bar as all you can drink alcohol. Instead they charged for each drink and on top of that there was only bottled water which they also charged for. I also overheard afterwards the profits from the alcohol didn’t even go towards the charity.

Now that I’m done complaining in typical fashion, my fundraising friend introduced me to a group of girls in finance. And you can just see their eyes light up when he tells them Dick works in finance (and makes alot of money doing it). What I do appreciate is that these girls who are in a post-bacc program in finance have a combined IQ which far exceeds the women in previous seasons of dickwatch.com. In previous seasons the combined IQ was that of 6.

But I think my friend just puts me into this unrealistic image that I am oozing money and that I can give all of them a job.  In either case these girls aren’t irresistably gorgeous but attractive and intelligent enough that i can see a date in the future. Of course as I said women are like parking spaces the good ones are always taken. And these girls are all taken.

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1 Comment

Filed under Gainfully Unemployed, The Women of Dick

One response to “A Fundraiser for Nepali Schools

  1. Grover Mannings

    Dick is correct regarding “Open Bar”.

    Many people simply make up their own definition of what “Open Bar” means, for example: free fountain drinks and alcohol available for purchase; or cash bar where everything costs something and tips are expected; or beer and wine free but liquor costs money.

    A real “Open Bar” means EVERYTHING is free and you can drink as much as you want. As long as people come to the bar for drinks, the staff are to continue to pour until they exhaust their supply or the party ends.

    To be fair, this was a fundraising event. True open bars can be very expensive and might offset the amount of donations collected. Like Dick mentioned, bar profits should have gone into the collection hat.

    Maybe Dick should start event planning for a living? 🙂

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