Dick Gets Dicked Over By Madie..(or did he)

Dear Journal:

Today Felton emailed me and told me it was Madie’s birthday. I emailed him back and gave the sly remark: “ummmm am I supposed to give her a lapdance?” This is because probably everyone is throwing themselves at her. Sometimes during “conversation with the guys”, every guy will always say they want to bang Madie. Expectingly as with all attractive women like Madie, they expect guys to throw themselves at her. But Dick takes after a pickup artist who once wrote a New York Times bestseller. “We don’t pursue women, [women should be pursuing us]”As usual with Dick he emailed Madie and told her: “Felton said I should wish you a Happy Birthday. So here goes…Happy Birthday. I’d like to schedule a time to sit down with your roommate, your two dogs and you to discuss the $800 room.”

In a fit of anger Madie told me that they had already found someone and that she put the deposit down and she already has the keys. The question here is did Dick really get dicked over?

You see journal…you don’t know the whole story…so here goes. The night I left Madie’s apartment I walked down the street and after a few houses I turned back and remembered the sign for the leasing agent. I took down the phone number and decided to find out how much the apartment really rented for on the market. What I discovered is that the apartment rented for significantly less what the three of us would pay if it was even across the boards: Madie, the second roommate and I would pay ($800 each).

My coworkers says that technically Madie’s roommate found the apartment, signed the lease and put the deposit so he is entitled to charge what he wants. His advice: I should state that I want to move in and state upfront I don’t think the room is worth $800 and try to negotiate with the leaseholder. If the leaseholder insists that he needs $800 to cover the cost then “he’s a douchebag”, however if he comes clean then he can’t be at fault. My coworker is relying on the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

In any case who got shafted here? Dick or Madie? The readers of this website who hate me will say I instigate, however I offer nothing but an open forum to address the problem. One thing is for certain if I asked ten of my readers to pick my best quality they would say if Dick is a great strategist.

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2 Comments

Filed under Life in the Ghetto, The Women of Dick, Uncategorized

2 responses to “Dick Gets Dicked Over By Madie..(or did he)

  1. painIsTemporary

    I have been following this diatribe of Madie’s for a while and I must say she is at fault for this. New Yorkers love to take advantage of a situation for their own self interest. Dick realized Madie was getting ripped off and steps in to try to help her. Instead the crazy chick attempts to dick Dick (no pun intended) over. Dick said a while ago he does not get angry he gets even. Seems like Dick didn’t even have to do anything. Let’s see how long this living situation lasts…word has it out on the street Madie’s last person offered her a free place to live if she walked around naked in the apartment. Dick is the type of guy who would just sit there and tell her to put her clothes back on. Kudos, well played Dick.

  2. MM

    Whoa- Madie is not at fault– nor did she get ripped off. Dick waited too long- and wasn’t even sure of his situation. Furthermore, if Dick really wanted to move out- he would have done so without the help of Madie. Note to readers: Dick is still at home and Madie is just fine saving money with her clothes ON!

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