North Carolina Part #3: The Southern Gals of Dick

Today would be our last full day in Southern Pines and we were having a BBQ at Felton’s. Felton’s mother had asked me if she felt the relative of hers needed the plastic surgery. I don’t know why she asks if she knows the answer. It’s pretty obvious she’s has collagen in her lips injected.
Later that night we went to O’Donnell’s Pub. While we were at the bar the most gorgeous (and incoherent drunk too )brunette girl approached Felton and I and asked if we could summon the bartender. Now usually attractive women don’t approach us. She was a very attractive woman who was way too tan. She briefly mentioned that she modeled in Boston and moved back to Charlotte. I don’t know what happened because while Felton was chatting with her my brother called from New York to tell me the cell phone bill was over by $120 more on that later) When I returned Felton was not talking to her, but asked me if I wanted to go to a pool party with his high school friends from last night. Sometimes I wish I gathered enough courage to pull these women aside and tell them how to better themselves. The problem is people always tell me it’s not my place to tell them. However if I don’t tell them who will, because every guy will sugar coat it to get them into the sac. I rather felt sorry for her…..And I’m the type of guy who instead of actually sleeping with her would seize the opportunity to tell her how she need to tone down the tanning, the drunkedness and perhaps GAIN five pounds. Which is why my female and male readers would say that is why I don’t get ass.

She was all over some guy all over some guy who didn’t have any interest in her. And while Felton was chatting with his girlfriend, I got bored and struck up conversation with two girls whose boyfriends were both in the military. They said they were BFFL (best friends for life).  “Felton and I used to sit next to each other at work. And one day I want to go to Popeye’s Chicken and asked my coworkers if any of them wanted to go. No one wanted to go except Felton who also wanted to bring a coworker whom he liked. However when the three of us got to the Popeye’s she was disgusted at the ghettoness and left. How did you girls meet?” They briefly told me they met at training for receptionists at Roses’s corporate and Gabriele asked if they wanted to go to Chick-Fil-A.

 I’ve been meaning for a long time to talk to either military girlfriends or wives. (in one of my last posts Madie Meyerowitz said she would never date any guy in the military) Gabriele Giedlin talked about how going to the military was a mistake. “Don’t you ever think about going to the military. There is nothing more depressing when your boyfriend or husband is on deployment like his is.” Kati’s boyfriend is also in the military but she didn’t mention much about him.

 As the night wound down Kati said she wanted to go to karaoke. I asked Felton and we all agreeded there were no karaoke places around. But I did sing my acapella rendition of  Michael’s Jackson’s The Way You Make Me Feel which she joined in. (like I said I was a way better singer than the cover band playing that night in the bar) During the night Kati also put her leg over mine as we were both sitting (and I kindly asked her to move it just to neg her)

At around 1:45 am her boyfriend kept calling and asking where she was. And she said to him “You just go hang out with your bitches…” When Kati’s boyfriend called back she didn’t want to take the phone call and asked if Gabriele would. All throughout the night Felton asked if the girls wanted to go to his friend’s pool party (which by this point probably had more men than originally there) But at the end of the night Kati asked if Felton and I would like to come over to her place and go swimming. I of course said yes, because after all Kati was sort of irresistably pretty.

Kati walked us to their car and put the backseat back for me to get in. There was leftovers from Chili’s restaurant in a styrofoam box and Kati said I should just move it, so I placed it on my lap. But before Felton could get in Gabriele said that Kati had to work at 9am and this wasn’t a good idea. She ruined it for the two of us and I immediately placed the leftovers from Chili’s dinner back on the backseat and scooted out of the car.

I thought about everyone is looking for that perfect boyfriend or girlfriend. Perhaps Kati’s boyfriend wasn’t the right one, but I certainly was not the long term solution to fill that void. Gabriele knew that and that is why she said Kati had to work at 9am that morning. I didn’t put up any resistance. Perhaps one day Kati and Gabriele would read this entry (and the why I want to go to the military entry). I was confident Kati and I liked each other tonight. The problem is she has a boyfriend that she has to stay faithful to and I live too far away from her to have any sort of phenomenal impact.  Tomorrow we are heading to Asheville to meet Felton’s college friend. And Kati will be a distant memory.

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Filed under Navy, The Women of Dick

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