A Girl Brings Me Soup When I’m Sick (Hardly)

On Monday night I started feeling a little sick and I joked with Daryl that Kenyetta should bring me soup. Daryl asked if I would have sex with Kenyetta if she did. I was so sure Kenyetta wasn’t going to bring soup I said yes. That night Kenyetta was at a bar (Blind Pig) at 12:32am and she said she would bring me soup if Daryl would come up pick her up and take her to my apartment. Seeing this as a waste of time; I told Daryl he should go home and get a good night’s sleep so he could be productive at work. But of course when Daryl sees AZN poon he magnetizes to it. He said he had hoped Kenyetta was at the bar with her female AZN friends and so Daryl went to see her. They never showed up with my soup.

At about 4:00pm Tuesday Daryl called me from work and told me that Kenyetta was bringing me soup a day later. I questioned this tactic after all she was at a bar the night before getting her drink on. And since I had just finished doing 100 pullups with Felton at the Crunch job downtown, do I look like I am sick anymore?

I told Daryl that I wasn’t at home but she could just knock on the door and drop off the soup with my mother. When I came home tonight, my mother said someone left a bag of food at the door and she didn’t know what to do with it, because although it seemed safe it could be dangerous also in this day and age.

I calmly explained to her that Daryl had called me up from work and wanted to know if I wanted food that him and coworkers weren’t eating. I expressed interest in taking this food if it was something I could eat. She was relieved to find out that I had authorized it. But she said that a restaurant delivery man came instead of Daryl’s coworker.(unless Daryl’s coworker is a guy who is in a delivery apron)

Here is her story: At around 4pm a delivery guy knocked on my apartment door and asked if anyone had ordered food. Of course my mother responded truthfully which is that she didn’t so the guy knocked on my right and left neighbor’s doors. My mother then proceeded to leave for the dog park and when she returned at about 6pm the same bag of food was sitting in front of her door. Needless to say my mother is very pissed. She doesn’t know if my brother or I have offended any people and these are acts of retaliation against us. She can be assured I have offended a lot of people (who probably would like to poison me)

Kenyetta was practically too busy, tired or lazy (or whatever adjective you want to place) to bring me soup herself. Instead she called up some random Vietnamese food delivery service to bring it to me. The contents of the bag didn’t even contain soup…..she bought me an entire meal complete with everything I don’t eat.  Kenyetta (and probably Daryl who has an extreme fetish for AZN women) always ponders why I don’t fall madly in love with her. Here is the reason, stupidity has reached a whole new level. Luckily, one of my friends will be able to enjoy the beef pho because my mother and brother are watching their cholesterol intake and I don’t even like meat.

I hope readers who see this entry know this is what NOT to do to win someone’s heart. The lesson to be learned from this entry is that altruism is sexy (Dick’s sweetest sixteen requirement #2) Having a food delivery you guy bring it to you isn’t. If I wanted food delivery I could of picked up the phone myself.

P.S. Beef pho with tendon, omosa, flank with no mint leaves or bean sprouts. Two shrimp summer rolls with brown lettuce. As one of my old college classmates would say Classy with a K.


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