I wanted to dedicate this entry to someone I met back in February. Daryl White asked me one day. How come you never meet anyone at the dog park? To tell you and my readers the truth there are two girls.
Many women who read this website will probably cringe and be absolutely disgusted at this entry because they are convinced I am gay. These women have combined to become BFFs. (see the Letter of Dissauation) These women include but may not be limited to: Tammara Krawitz made me touch her boobs and asked me if I felt anything. Shanice Defouw who tried to set me up with three of her friends and posted a Craigslist’s ad about how she has little to no education, makes little to no money, and needs someone to feed her because her hands get tired. This also includes an episode of jumping out a cab into oncoming traffic to avoid going home with someone. You want me to say I am gay, but if I said it with heartfelt emotion and sincerity would you genuinely believe me? Here goes. I am gay. Moving on.
So I met this girl awesome girl back in February. To preserve identities of all parties I am not allowed to provide real names or post pictures. But to give you an idea how awesome this gal is let’s go straight to Dick’s Sweetest Sixteen Requirements and see how many she meets right off the bat. (1,2,4,5,8,9,10,11,13) When dickwatch.com began back in college one of my readers summed it up the best. Dick is attracted to the women every guy is after. And everyone and their sister want this girl. I refer to her as the “girl who both ERASMO Lepke and HYMAN Bitah both want to bang.”
But let’s state the obvious. I could probably could just hit it and quit it if I was physically attracted to her. But as Nelly says in his new music video Gone: “I want more than just a moment. See I ain’t tryin to lease or trying to rent I’m trying to own it.” Daryl White always says I am crazy. He says that is why I don’t get women. The scary thing is that Madie Meyerowitz is just as crazy as I am. I tone it down when I’m around her but the truth is her personality is exactly like mine.
Between studying for accounting and computer programming my only regret is I didn’t have enough time for her. But I guess that is how things go fourteen weeks of pain for a lifetime of pride. (and in the process you lose a good friend and a great girl)