My name is Dick. My friends best describe me as a subway vigilanteMapp_rob_3_on_subway_witness_depo, lifeguard who brought customer service to a whole new level, two time 99-week recipient of unemployment benefits, the 2010 census’s best problem solver, Navy reject and a thirty-year (actually 30 1/2 year old) virgin.

About eight years ago I started The name came from one of my old college roommates who majored in economics and worked at the Federal Reserve Board of Governors. There are a group of people who watch want the Fed lower or raise interest rates to control the money supply. They are called FedWatch. He jokingly said the people who kept up with my life are called Dickwatch. choronicled my life from the moment I was kicked out of my then undergraduate college for cheating on an examination and flunking out of college to my crusade to get back into school.

I returned to college, finished all my degree requirements, gave each of the associate deans of the college a bottle of wine and refused my diploma.

After college I spent two years folding towels and emptying tampon bins at a private fitness gym until it was sold to a corporation. I also spent two years doing data entry and computer cartography as a contractor for a city agency. In late 2008 during the capital market collapse I lost my job there and became one of the many Americans who were so called 99-weekers. However I only collected about 26 weeks of unemployment before I found a temporary job as a field supervisor for the decennial census. this last through April 2009 and I went back on unemployment benefits until August 2009 when I became a regional technician. As a regional technician, I (potentially) saved the census millions of dollars and paid my entire annual salary during one Saturday in my first week on the job. The reason I say potentially was no one believed my analysis (except one other person). I became known as one of my coworkers would say: “the best problem solver and one of the smartest people I’ve ever met.”

After the census ended in September 2010, I filed a new claim for unemployment and received the maximum benefit of $405 a week for 26 weeks. In December 2010, Obama signed new legislation extending unemployment benefits through 2012 and I became another 93-week (less 6 weeks because New York State’s unemployment rate was below that of the federal requirement of 9% unemployment to receive that last tier)

This is my story of my life. It is a story of trying to prove my worth in the working world, a story to find true love (lose my virginity and maybe someone to cuddle with). But most of all it is a story that my friend agreed over Korean pho on a nice April evening that it needed to be resurrected. this is the story of Dick. The story of


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